The First Day Home

2 Aug

I thought I would never see this day coming, but it did.  My beloved and my newborn finally got released from the hospital and are now spending time at home.  With all the issues that went with my beloved’s tumor and headache issues, we continue to believe that God has taken hold of this and she IS completely healed, in the name of Jesus Christ.  There is no other way except to believe in faith that God’s healing and resurrection power is already in this situation, and along with my church family and immediate family, we are continuing to believe that power; our faith rising up with that power.

The late nights are indeed anticipated, though wasn’t exactly sure how that would pan out in real life.  While I do know it is worth it, I also know that it is something that is definitely needed to give him exactly what he needs.  We love him very much, and if it means waking up at 2 am in the morning to feed, burp, or change him (which is supposed to be “normal”), then we shall do it.

I have spent 2 years in the waiting for this moment, and now this moment has come and it is a wondrous moment.  Holding him in my arms in the hospital is one thing; but holding him in my arms inside my home is another emotion.  No words can describe the feeling of great hope, great grace, and awesome praise to this promise fulfilled.  No words.  Not one can truly define it, save for this:  God is awesome.  He has blessed us with an amazing wonder that I cannot even imagine.  It’s more than words can say.


God’s Promise Fulfilled

30 Jul

Today, something beautiful and amazing transpired:  the fulfillment of God’s promise to us 2 years ago in the birth of my newborn son.  God is so great in keeping His promises, and fulfilling them in the right time in the right place in our lives.  Holding his tiny body in my arms, so beautiful and so perfect, I am in awe of the glorious present that God had given to my family.  He is an amazing result of what God has planned from the beginning, and an awesome wonder and example of God’s goodness, grace, and love for us.  I am so excited…  I cannot wait to have him in our home: to watch him grow into Christ spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, intellectually, and artistically.

How I love the promise fulfilled.  This is the day that made the pain and suffering of this week worthwhile.  This is the hospital stay that, in Satan’s attempt to bring death, God used to bring life.  As the serpent strikes the heel, Christ kills the head.  My newborn is a result of the promise fulfilled, just as Christ’s resurrection is the result of God’s promise fulfilled.

Mixed Emotions

29 Jul

Today, my beloved went to the OB triage at 37 weeks as she was complaining about increasing headaches since last Saturday.  I knew that when she took herself into the hospital that those headaches are related to either the tumor or hematoma that she had in the past.  After a CT scan performed on her, my confirmations were correct.  She was then admitted to the NICU for more complete checkups and a better gauge from the doctors about what to do next.

I admit that I have mixed emotions about this, a complementing mixture of both fear of an impending brain surgery and excitement of my baby being born.  There is no question that my love for her is there, and my love will never change; it’s my doubts that had surfaced and had come to play.  Questions like “I thought that she was completely healed?” roamed through my head during the last part of work, and even during my time with her at the NICU, I can tell that my demeanor had fully changed from being hopeful to being doubtful.  My beloved saw it plainly, and told me to cheer up and be strong for my family.  I needed to hear that.  I needed to be strong for all of my family.

Thankfully, my in-laws took my son with them so I can just be alone for now.  Being alone can be a very good thing or a very bad thing, depending on the situation; and in this case, it could have been very bad.  Doubts, fears, and insecurities plagued my mind about this whole situation.  Even with my immediate and extended family and church friends praying over me and my family, those doubts and fears were hard to take out of my mind.  “The battle is won in the mind,” Neil Anderson once wrote, and is usually quoted and emphasized by my pastor.  And I am thankful that my brothers and sisters in Christ has not stopped praying over this situation.

God is great.  He is the healer and provider, and will always see the good come out of evil deeds.  Satan knows that he cannot destroy that, so he messes with us to keep us from fulfilling what is our purpose in Christ.  God is great.  He has given us this baby as a promise fulfilled, and Satan cannot destroy that.  Whatever happens with my beloved, whether brain surgery or not, we are going in the right direction because we are doing it under the obedience in Christ.

Expecting the Astonishing, Part 1

27 Apr

Roughly about a month or so ago, my beloved and I have been feeling the Spirit to move into pursuing the promises that we have been waiting for God to move on. During our small group at a local YMCA, we were chatting with one of our elders about promises that we have been holding on to, and what an amazing response we got from her; how she told us her story and testimony about having debt and wanting and praying for a house, and getting God’s astonishing blessings for them, even in the midst of debt. It was such an encouragement for us to see our leaders who experienced the same things we are going through, and now are giving us so much insight on how to go about the promises that we are praying and waiting to be fulfilled.

“Tear out the tiles” was the word that motivated us to really pursue this promise of a wonderful home for our family.  This word was breathed to us in the same manner that came out from the Bible story of the paralytic person being lowered down to get healed by Jesus.  His friends brought him to see Jesus but couldn’t get him close enough to get healed, with him being in doubt of his own healing.  His friends, with deep conviction and faith, went to a different, “less-traveled” route, and instead of paving a way towards Jesus, they went UP on someone’s roof, began tearing their roof tiles so that they can have a hole big enough to lower their friend down.

That kind of unconventional path is not exactly the kind of direction that most people would take; rather, it was the conviction, belief, and faith that his friends had that caused him to not only be healed, but also be saved.

“Tear out the tiles” became that prophetic word for us to be able to pursue calling a Spirit-filled, strong prophetic realtor from our church, and thus able to connect with her lender to start on a strong path and strategy for home buying.  I admit, I was pretty scared about having to fill out the forms that the lender gave us, since we knew going there that we had NOTHING to really offer as part of a down payment.  After waiting on filling it out, we were convicted at a sermon a following Sunday, when our pastor and an exhorter was literally calling out that when you HAVE A WORD FROM THE LORD, YOU SHOULD GO FORWARD WITH IT. We even had someone pray over us that God will show us creative ways for financial resources to help with our home.  Boy, did He ever give us creative solutions!

Ever since that Sunday, we have pursued with no hindrance and limitations on what we were to do.  Even when we knew that we had no assets to give, we are expecting God’s astonishing provisions to help provide for us.  My beloved ended up with a very creative solution that God provided for us: an old 401K account that we had not touched, that, when taken out, leaves to almost the exact amount as the down payment that we needed for a specific mortgage amount.  Just the fact that we were approved for a mortgage was a blessing!

God is so powerful and astonishing… He will use you in ways you can never imagine yourself being used.  He will use your weaknesses and turn them into powerful works in the miraculous, to showcase His authority, His power, and His glory.  All glory goes to Him that we are able to go through this process and be a part of His awesome direction that He is leading us in!  It is in the power of faith that sees and believes in what is to come, and holding on to that faith that really sees miracles through!


21 Mar

Church was great today, and usual, PD brought it on in his usual self.  But this post won’t be about the sermon; rather I want to talk about our lunch with our new congregational pastor.

I don’t really know the guy very well, with exception to the usual pastoral stuff he’s done at church and in our new congregation.  He’s a redeemed rocker, so to speak, with a Holy Spirit-bred life in his musical ability and his passion for reaching the lost.  At first sight, he may not look like a pastor at all (the mullet he had a year or so ago would have said enough).  But speaking with him more and even just getting to know him slightly, you would recognize the power and authority he carries as a pastor and emerging leader in our church.  Even our immediate mentors and leaders have proclaimed great faith and great authority over him through their blessings and exhortations about him.  That alone says quite a lot.

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Pressing forth in Faith

17 Mar

We had our new congregation gathering tonight at a local YMCA, and what a night it was for believing in faith.  Scott, our administrative pastor, came for a special night of exhortation, encouragement, and more spiritual insight on Luke 5.  In verses 1-26, there are three types of “gospels” that Luke was presenting, as stated by PD last Sunday: Gospel of Provision, Gospel of Healing, and Gospel of Liberty.  These verses reflect Simon Peter’s miraculous catches when he followed Jesus’ words to cast the nets differently, and where the paralytic was healed when his friends put a hole in the house where Jesus was at and lowered him in.

In the “Gospel of Provision,” (first part of Luke 5) Peter’s experience with Jesus led him to see miracles and astonishment.  Why?  Peter was a seasoned fisherman, and so was his partners in the boat with him and in the other boats surrounding him.  But he, BY GOD’S WORD, went and did business differently because he couldn’t find a catch.  And by following Christ, he was able to see results.  Scott challenged us, BY GOD’S WORD, to ask where we should be putting our “nets” down so that we can see astounding results?  How does our faith hold when we put it to the test?

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Receiving a Fresh Filling of the Holy Spirit

27 Jan

Today was the day that we as a small group would be disbanded.  My family are called to a new congregation as an extension of our church, and would be relocating into a new small group as a result.  Our small group members would be either joining us, looking for other small groups, or already know that they are moving to a different congregation as well, which is true for a handful of them.  It is in some ways a very sad way to depart, seeing that this group has been handed down to us from our mentors over the past couple of years, and really it’s a sweet sorrow to see that Wednesday nights will not involve seeing them face to face or interacting with them.  I guess for me, it’s more personal to see them go than anything else, given the closeness that this group has been throughout its short life.  We shared our lives together — our hopes and dreams, our longing, our hurts and frustration, our joys and happiness.  However, I cannot think of a better way to part than to have our mentors and leaders come over to our group and pray over us and each other, to bless everyone as we come to a close, and to receive a fresh filling of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

Speaking of that, I had been wanting to get a fresher filling of the Holy Spirit since I was baptized 2 years ago by the very same person/people who baptized me again tonight.  I believed in faith that I wasn’t making things up, and that I was speaking in tongues the way that God has already called me to do so.  And as I sang my praises in the supernatural, I just felt more powerful in the Spirit to be able to speak the language that I have been wanting for so long.  And better yet, one of our members got baptized that night too!!  How amazing is our Lord and Savior!!!

Parting is such sweet sorrow indeed, but not as sweet as seeing your comrades praying and fighting for each other’s faith, strength, and values.  Lord I pray that your life be magnified in their lives, that your life be ever present and ever witnessing to their hearts.  Thank you for giving us a chance to be used for your glory, and for the testimony of your power and authority over us.  Thank you for using broken vessels to reach into each other’s lives, and to impact them in such a way that brings joy and happiness despite the world’s viewpoints.  Thank you for your fresh filling of your Holy Spirit over us, that we may continue to be strengthened each day in our faith.